I Hate You But I Love You
by marlise.est.amoureuse
Summary: basically, Edward has a secret, and you have to read to find out what it is! E/B. lemons in future chapters. it's honestly better than it sounds! "Who was this woman and what did she want with Edward? And what did he want from her?"
1. Chapter 1

Love is A Curious Thing

**Prologue: ****Implausible**

This was not going well…not well at all!

Facing me was a monster. Not the kind I've often said lurks below your bed when you're a kid, no, not a vampire. Not a furry beast, not Jacob, not a werewolf. No, this was much, much worse.

I didn't think that was possible.

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Chapter One: Interview

Edward had been telling me each night that he had to hunt, that my blood was somehow becoming _more _tempting. He would grin and kiss my neck. And every night he would linger there, growl hungrily, and then force himself away once he realized what he had done.

His throaty snarl always _sounded _genuine, but who knows? Perhaps he just _had _to leave…and I didn't think he went hunting, so what did he do?

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I couldn't sleep. I wanted to, but I couldn't. Edward had left through my window at ten o'clock, just like every night. For some reason I couldn't sleep when I was warm,

Sounds nuts, doesn't it? I know, but, seriously, I was so used to being comfortably chilly in bed, thanks to Edward's hand around my waist, pressing me against his algid body, not to mention having a soothing composition buzzing through my mind, courtesy of Edward's perfect lips and vocal chords, and a wide hand cupping the back of my head, as though I were a baby and couldn't support that weight, and a cold, long foot overlapping mine, with an icy, muscular calf resting lightly upon my warm calf, that I didn't seem able to sleep without it.

Usually I would try to stay up, just in case he came back, and usually exhaustion would creep up on me at about 10:30, a measly thirty minutes after he had taken his leave.

But tonight was different. Tonight I couldn't sleep at all. Something twisting in my gut was refusing to let me sleep. Like something bad that I could stop if I were awake was going to happen when I was asleep…

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"Bella?"

I raised my head from my knees and, seeing Edward, just a perfect black shape, silhouetted by the moonlight streaming through the window behind him, instinctively stretched my arms out towards him.

My elbows popped after being bent around my knees for so long. I was sitting, curled up in the rocking chair; my mind had just been in a frozen state, trying to imagine where Edward could be.

And then I saw him, and smelled his irresistible perfume, clear as day, even though he was at least six feet away, and my mind exploded with happiness.

But my suspicions would not be forgotten.

"Hey," I whispered.

He took one large stride forward, and somewhere midstep he must have turned my bedside light on, and I didn't see it, because when he was about three feet closer to me the little brown lampshade was dimly lit.

I could see him now; his skin was a faint purplish-green in the moonlight and artificial light combined. His eyes were black as flint, but he lacked the other telltale signs of thirst: purple circles under his eyes, an unnaturally still chest...

The only other explanation for black eyes on a "vegetarian" vampire, because carnivorous vampire's eyes just fade to a deeper red when they're hungry, was fury. But...what could've caused Edward to become so enraged?

" Edward...are you angry with me?" I asked, a tad nervous. I didn't like it when he was upset, especially with me, because he always frightened me a bit when he was mad, though I would never admit this to him.

He must've seen the anxiety in my expression, because his face smoothed into a calm, reassuring smile. He took another step. I had lowered my arms when he didn't accept my invitation after about ten seconds. Normally it took about two for him to come to me, sometimes less when I offered.

But he was here now, in reach, and obviously infuriated. I wasn't sure why yet, but I could at least comfort him in the hopes that he'd tell me. So I held my arms out again, and this time I wrapped them around his waist.

He smiled warmly and I returned the gesture. Maybe I was helping, but then...I already knew from experience what a good liar he was.

"Hello, Bella," he said, his voice ringing with happiness. But it was too late.

I had already seen his true emotions.

I frowned- why was he lying to me? I pulled my arms back from his waist and stretched out my legs. I tried to decipher his expression, but it was clear of all emotion now, although after my careful speculation I noticed a hint of betrayal…

Because I had pulled away? Why was he acting like this?

I slid off the rocking chair and sat down on my bed. He wasn't looking at me, but instead stared at the wall about a quarter of a foot above the rocking chair, where my head had been moments before.

"Edward," I called him softly, trying to pull him from his thoughts. "Edward, come tell me what's wrong."

His head flew to the left; his eyes were penetrating as he gazed at me. "Nothing's wrong," he declared, keeping that same calculating expression on his face.

Liar.

"I don't believe you."

His features turned to stone.

"And why is that?" He was trying to sound cold, I could tell, but instead he sounded…_tired_.

Wind whistled outside my window and it gave me a headache. My fears from earlier, of something fateful occurring on this night, came rushing back. Was he tired of _me_? Did he want to leave again? And this time, was it actually because he was finally bored with me?

It suddenly seemed like too much, like I had so many problems, stacked so high, and they were teetering left and right and soon I would fall off the edge.

And so, I began to cry.

Edward was at my side immediately. But this time, I wasn't expecting love from him. I hated that queasy feeling of uncertainty more than any other.

He patted my back, his expression guilty now. I just stared at him, tears trickling down my cheeks and biting my bottom lip so I didn't start sobbing aloud.

"Shh, shh, Bella," he kept saying, his right hand moving to cup my face while his left hand continued to stroke my back.

His hand was warm and I furrowed my brow. At first I simply hesitated, measuring the temperature of his hand and wondering why. He only became warm like this when he was touching a warm creature. So _had _he been hunting? Or…

But I didn't ask. The tears doubled as I thought of the other possibilities, and a single, quiet sob escaped my lips. I leaned into his hand then, needing, welcoming, and appreciating the comfort. Needing _him_.

He must have laid me down and tucked me in at one point, because when I woke up around 2 a.m. I was warm and cozy under my thick, old quilt. But something was missing.

Edward.

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When my alarm went off at six, I was greeted by a cheerful Alice.

She spent breakfast twirling around the kitchen like a ballerina. When she complained about needing to shop for a leotard and ballet slippers, I knew she was avoiding telling me something.

_What had she seen?_

She drove me to school in Edward's Volvo, informing me that he needed to talk to Jasper and Emmett alone so he took Rosalie's Mercedes. Rosalie was out hunting for the day, apparently.

I had every class with Edward, so he couldn't avoid explaining his actions forever.

Alice pulled into the last vacant spot in the school parking lot and I felt worry seeping through my veins and enter with my blood into my heart, where it would wait for the truth.

My first four classes were boring. Edward paid the teachers strict attention, which was unlike him. Except for before he left me last year…was he _trying_ to scare me?

Lunch came, and I was determined to make him talk to me.

I walked into the cafeteria alone- Edward had insisted that he needed to talk to Alice after class. I saw them sitting together at the usual table at the back of the lunchroom, and even when I was sitting right across from them I couldn't understand them, they were talking so fast and low. They ignored me, unless the speed of their eyeballs was vampiric too.

"Hello? Guys…" I was feeling excluded. Neglected. This was so unlike them. Edward had his reasons, and as long as he wasn't leaving me or…

But Alice especially! She was my best friend and I needed girl-talk. She was usually offering, and rarely because she had "seen" me asking for it, but just because she enjoyed it. That was Alice.

_This _wasn't.

Edward turned and gave me a forced smile. I glared back, and the smile disappeared. Alice was still staring at Edward with this distant look in her eyes, and I knew she was having a vision. I ignored this.

"Edward, please, tell me what's bothering you. Your whole family! I want to know—I _need _to know," I said, not quite whining, but pretty close.

He just looked at me blankly. I groaned in frustration.

Alice chose that moment to lurch out of her vision with an angered, "Idiot!"

I started. Her voice, that lovely wind-chime that seemed to light up a room as well as her smile, was a quiet, rumbling shout. Not a growl, not exactly, but more of an exasperated, livid exclamation, tinged with…sadness?

In short, it was terrifying.

"Alice, what happened?" I demanded, the worry in my heart over-flowing as fear was added and stirred vigorously, like a dangerous potion in a witch's cauldron, fizzling until it cascades down the side of pot, burning a hole in the floor.

Chiseling a hole out of the side of my heart.

"I saw…" she trailed off, glancing at a curious Edward. "I'll tell you later, Bella."

Edward asked her what she was doing after school that day, and their rapid conversing started again.

I got up and left the cafeteria, my tray of food forgotten on the table.

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Emmett drove me home. The ride in the car was short and silent.

"Thanks, Emmett," I murmured when we pulled up to the curb.

"No problem, shorty!" He grinned, and I had no choice but to smile back. Even if it was a ruse, to make me believe nothing was going on, it was believable, and Emmett's smile was infectious.

I opened the car door and was halfway out of the car when I was hit with a sudden inspiration. Edward wasn't telling me a thing, so why not interview his family members? I sat back in the car and firmly shut the door. Emmett was gazing at me, his big brow furrowed in confusion.

"Emmett," I addressed him sternly. He had to know I was serious- any answer I could get about this was crucial.

"Yeah, Bella? What's up?" His voice was careful, and I immediately doubted my decision. Would I _get_ any answers? I didn't care, I thought. If Emmett, or any of the other Cullens, could tell me something, it was worth asking.

"Do you know what's going on with Edward?" I began. It was better to be blunt. "What's he been thinking about lately?"

To my surprise, well, in such a situation, when I thought I was doing a very good job of being serious, Emmett laughed. As much as it irritated me at the moment, I loved Emmett's laugh and laughed with him, even though I didn't know what was so funny.

"What's so funny?" I asked when Emmett was only chuckling and I had my breath back.

Emmett looked at me in disbelief. "Bella, you asked what he's been thinking—_he's_ the mind reader!"

I snickered at my silly mistake for a second, and then got back to business.

"But do you know?" I asked. "What did he just _have_ to talk to you about this morning? Do you know where he's been going at night? Is he mad at me, or Carlisle or Rosalie? Because Edward forced Rosalie to lend him her Mercedes this morning, or at least Alice made it sound that way, and Carlisle-"

"Bella!"

"What?"

"Stop, and let me think!" He was laughing again, so hard I was surprised he could speak.

Why is he always laughing at me?!

"Do you always talk so much?" he asked after a minute.

"I don't know, ask Edward! And if you don't know any of the answers to my previous questions, ask him about those, too! God, he is driving me _insane_!"

Emmett wasn't laughing anymore. We sat in silence for at least five minutes before he muttered, "If I answer one, I will answer all of them, because one's no more important than the other. I understand your frustration- he can be pretty hard to read sometimes…wait, he hasn't been watching you sleep? He told us that's what he always does."

I shook my head.

"Huh." Emmett looked honestly clueless, so I decided to let it go. But he frowned and continued.

"Well, Bella, then I don't know where he goes at night, I'm sorry. And yes, I know what he said this morning, but I swore not to say. And like I said, if I tell you one thing, I'll feel guilty for not telling you another thing, because it's probably all of equal importance to you, and I'll end up telling you absolutely everything I know, and Edward will find out, and he'll hate me for a while, and that wouldn't be good...This is strange. I'll keep my mind blank around him for you. I can't ask him anything, because I'm sure you don't want him to know you're asking me. It's quite a sneaky thing you're doing, actually, Bella. And I-"

"Do _you_ always talk so much?" I gasped, panting through my incessant peels of laughter. "And you…were laughing…at _me_!!"

Emmett looked slightly offended, but his mouth was twitching and his eyes were glinting with tolerant humor. In the end the two of us were cracking up together, me holding my aching ribs, and his booming bark of a laugh making me feel warm. He was the best "big brother" you could ask for.

"Thanks again, Emmett," I managed once I could laugh no longer. It was _that funny_! Emmett doesn't look like a big talker, but I guess sometimes…

"It was really helpful. We should talk more often."

I felt closer to him now than I ever had in all the time I'd known him.

I hopped out of the car, happy with myself. Sure I didn't get any answers, but I had fun with Emmett, and that alone pleased me immensely.

"No problem, Bella," he responded, chortling. "Glad I could help."

I ran to the porch and turned back. I waved like a maniac, and he grinned once more, winking cheerfully.

And that was that.

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_So??_

_-marlise_


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hey guys

_Hi!!_

_There's a little bit of fluff in here. Huzzah, no? D_

_Read on!!_

**Chapter Two: ****Zuri**

There wasn't much I could do about Edward's attitude. I just hoped it ended soon. He hadn't kissed me at all since the first night he claimed he had to go hunting, and that was two whole weeks ago…

What did this mean?

Alice had never told me about that vision she had at lunch that day- and I hadn't asked. She still wasn't being herself; she never smiled me, and she no longer talked cheerfully with me. In fact, she barely talked with me at all during those dreadful fourteen days.

Emmett and I talked more and more. He drove me to and from school every day, he took me shopping with Rosalie, trying in vain to get her to warm up to me, he talked buoyantly with me as I cooked dinner every night, and he helped me with my homework when I needed it. Alice and Edward seemed to take so little interest in me lately, that Emmett became my best friend. I hadn't seen Carlisle, Esme or Jasper for more than two weeks, because I hadn't been to the Cullen's house in about a month, and Jasper graduated last year. I began to feel like a boring and normal 18 year old, hastily finishing senior year. I fell into a routine.

"Isabella?" Mr. Richards, my physics teacher, jerked me away from my thoughts.

"Yes, Mr. Richards?"

"Please pay attention, Miss Swan."

Bobbing my head lazily, my eyes drifted to him. I mumbled a pathetic little apology, but either he didn't hear me or blatantly ignored me.

Either way, he started talking about momentum again.

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Today was different, I could tell.

For one thing, Edward picked me up and drove me home, and he rambled on about some literature project he was starting that had never been done at a school he'd went to during both car rides. It was adorable, the way he babbled on and on. I wished that I had that class with him.

And for another thing, Alice spoke to me. She was grinning like a lunatic all day. When she said hello in second period, which was the fateful hour of gym, instead of the monotone mumble I'd gotten used to, I received a lovely chirp and a warm smile. Her eyes, which had faded to a brassy color as she sunk into a depression after that vision, had specks of yellow in them. My Alice was returning.

Plus, Emmett was absent. He was at my side every day while his siblings were excluding me, and I had gotten so used to him picking me up in Rosalie's convertible each morning that I literally tripped over the doorstep when I saw Edward sitting calmly in his Volvo. Before I could fall flat on my face, however, his cold arms were around me and I was carried to the car like a princess.

Edward had that incredible ability of making me feel special, like royalty.

Was my Edward back, too?

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"Bella," Edward said, watching me intently as I moved briskly around the kitchen. When I move briskly, the outcome can't be good.

"Yeah?" I responded, thrilled that he said my name. He said it that morning too, but all in all it had been too long. His flawless voice sounded a little nervous this time, though.

I focused on my nails while hurrying to the fridge. What could possibly make him feel anxious at this wonderful time, besides the fact that I wasn't concentrating on my feet while walking?

"Do you want to come to my house tonight? Esme misses you, you know, and Jasper wants to see you before he leaves. And I have a…surprise…for you." He smiled timidly, hope in his eyes.

Of course my mind chose this moment to send my legs the message, 'Trip over the air.' I was heading back to the stove, barbecue sauce in hand. My head would've collided with the low cupboards' wooden handles if Edward had not been there. His hands hooked themselves around my waist for the second time that day. I hadn't noticed in the morning, due to my mind blanking itself out when I caught sight of Edward's beautiful face, but he was cold again. So was I imagining things that one time, or did he get warm every night?

I shook off the possible techniques in which Edward could've been "getting warm" that had grown wilder and easier to picture over the long, lonely nights.

He set me upright and stayed behind me, his vice-like grip never loosening on my waist, even after I had regained my balance.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, and I gripped his hands, folded possessively on my stomach, for more support. I shouldn't have bothered; he was already holding me up. But I couldn't help it, for his seductive murmur made me weak in the knees, especially after it had been so long since I heard even his normal voice.

I nodded. He chuckled.

We stayed like that for a moment, but the sound of the cruiser pulling up made him back away slightly, although I could swear he was reluctant to.

"So?" he inquired.

It took me a total of 13 seconds to clear my head and remember his question that made me fall.

"Well yes, of course I want to go!"

The door slammed and Charlie marched into the kitchen.

"Go where?" he grumbled, and I mentally rolled my eyes. Charlie _and _Edward had informed me that rolling my eyes _physically_ was particularly annoying and requested that I not do it anymore. Their simultaneously suggesting it bothered me some, but I could never refuse Edward's eyes or lips, for that matter, when he wanted something.

I opened my mouth to tell him where, but Edward was too quick for me.

"I asked her, Mr. Swan, if she would like to accompany me to my house this evening. My parents haven't seen her in a while and would like to. She has replied that yes, she would like to go, as you must've heard when you came in. Now it's up to you, sir."

Even Charlie could not dismiss the politeness or the hope in Edward's voice. I was just astounded once again by how smoothly he could handle adults. If I had that much confidence I would win every argument, with either parent or teacher or, even more satisfying, Edward himself.

I really did want to go see Esme and Carlisle and Jasper, plus I missed Emmett already. And Edward had a surprise for me…I hated surprises. On the bright side, however, I could ask Alice when we got there what it was.

That is, if Charlie permitted me the freedom.

"Oh, please, Dad. Please?" I begged, widening my eyes and grabbing Edward's hand purely out of habit. I could feel him staring at me, trying not to laugh at my imploring face. But when I snatched his hand he sobered up, tilting his head down to stare at our intertwined hands.

It took a minute of my maintaining that pleading look for Charlie to give in. I finished up his dinner—a barbecue-pork sandwich—and Edward, still holding my hand, dragged me out of the kitchen.

"Bye, Dad!" I hollered as he pulled me out the door.

It was below 32° and hailing. The weather appalled me each day as Christmas grew nearer. Watching me shiver, Edward frowned and his black fleece jacket instantly draped me. On me it utilized its actual purpose; it warmed me right up on the short walk to the car.

Edward stood patiently beside the passenger seat door, observing me bend my legs, stiff with cold, and lurch awkwardly into the car. He laughed at me, and I blushed violently in response. He closed the door and was beside me a moment later, grinning like a fool.

"Are you ready?" he asked, joy practically emanating from him with every word. I felt it, for it was tangible, floating around my head, and smiled. I loved to see Edward happy.

"To see your family and have fun, of course, but you _know_ I hate surprises!"

The lovely grin on his lips grew wider until it looked painful. It made me giggle,

I turned to face the window for the first time.

"How do you _do_ that?" I demanded, aghast. We were at his house already! It was silly, but I sometimes still doubted his abnormal abilities.

He clucked his tongue in mock-disapproval, mischief dancing in his eyes.

He hopped out of the car, blurred past the windshield, and materialized beside my door not a second later.

Wrapping his right hand daintily around my waist, he eagerly slapped his thigh to an unrecognizable rhythm with his left while we walked up the front steps and to the grand, mahogany double doors. It was frustrating, not knowing why he was acting so cheerful today, after so much time spent moping.

Edward reached for the door handle but to no avail; it swung open of its own accord, it seemed, before his fingers brushed the silver. Inside the house there was nothing unusual to be seen, except…everyone was gone. I shuffled through the door and still—nothing.

"Hello? Anyone?" I called. No response.

Edward could see that I was starting to panic, so he led me to the piano, which was still located just to the left of the door, and sat me down on the starch white leather bench. "I'll be right back," he murmured, and then he disappeared.

I waited a tad impatiently, tapping the bench with my fingers. True to his word, he was back in front of me a minute later, and when I peeked around his shoulder I saw his whole family, save for Jasper. Everyone was grinning hugely, even Rosalie. I gulped.

"She doesn't know, _right_, Edward?" Alice asked nastily, somehow still maintaining her idiotic smile.

So much for her _telling_ me what the surprise was.

Edward kissed my forehead quickly, joined his family, and turned to stare at me beside Alice. "Nope."

They just mingled there in the middle of the cavernous entry hall, and I heard Alice whisper hurriedly to Edward, "I knew she didn't know—I just like teasing her!"

I glared. That was meant for my ears, otherwise I wouldn't have heard it. The whole situation was beginning to aggravate me.

"No, _I don't know_, so tell me already! You guys know I hate surprises!" I yelled, but their grins just turned into evil smirks.

"Let me _out_! Alice! _Help_!"

The voice came from far above, as though someone was screaming through a hole in the attic floor. Most puzzling, though, it sounded like an…eight year-old? She wasn't really whining—it was more like she couldn't believe her surroundings, whatever they were.

Alice frowned, clearly disappointed. "Shh," she whispered, giving no sign as to where the whisper was directed. I didn't hear a peep after that, and yet I could barely hear her soft shush, so the little girl must've been a vampire.

Was that the surprise? They found an eight year-old vampire?

Esme vanished from her spot behind Carlisle, and I saw a quivering shape at the top of the stairs. It was her—running. I'd never seen Esme run before. She was back five, silent minutes later, carrying a squirming young girl in her arms. She walked down the stairs at human speed. Carlisle moved forward to help her, and the two of them situated the child in front of me. When they finished they walked to Alice, who remained by Edward in the middle of the entry hall, and whispered something in her ear. Emmett leaned forward to listen, Edward kept his eyes on me, ready to examine my reaction, and Rosalie simply stared at the kid standing before me.

Finally I too turned my gaze on the girl. Based on the way she was presented to me, almost as though the family had practiced the introduction, and the expectant looks now on all of their faces, intent on either my own face or the child still standing in front of me, she was the surprise.

She wasn't a vampire, that much was clear.

Her hair was a deep shade of auburn: a dark brown similar to my own, red glinting off the shiny locks under the bright candlelight coming from the elegant chandelier above her. Impeccably straight, her hair drifted down to her shoulder blades, long and obviously freshly combed. Round eyes filled up her face, their irises like blue crystal, twinkling with curiosity and innocence in the firelight. Her nose was small, a cute button nose that fit her young figure. Salmon colored, perfectly sized lips pouted at me. No doubt she wanted the right to speak again, but I wasn't finished assessing her.

Her skin was a creamy vanilla, thicker than mine at sight, but more delicate by far. She stood at what looked to be four feet, eight inches. If this was an accurate guess, then she was about four inches smaller than Alice. She was impossibly skinny, lacking any curves at her age.

Done inspecting, I simply gawked at her, amazed by her beauty and confused by her presence there. I couldn't feel my expression, but it must've been a pretty comical combination of the two, because Emmett was laughing hysterically and everyone else was snickering.

Fed up with my ridiculous audience and by not knowing this tiny, breathtaking child's name, I cleared me face of everything but delight, smiled welcomingly and thrust my right hand out towards her.

She didn't budge. Instead she widened her eyes until I was lost in the periwinkle blue of them, opened her mouth slightly, and took a giant intake of breath.

I hastily stuffed my hand back into the immense pocket of Edward's jacket, but my smile remained, sweet and inviting.

The little beauty twisted around to stare pleadingly at Alice. I looked up too and locked eyes with Edward. My smile slipped. He was eyeing me with…_want_, it seemed. Blood flared up from my heart to spread rapidly over my cheeks. Why _at that moment_, I still don't know.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice nod and the child turn around again.

Ripping my gaze away from Edward's would've been impossible, had Emmett not walked to my side, placed a huge, icy hand on either side of my face, and turned my head gently to the left and down to the girl once more.

"Thanks," I mumbled. He only smirked. My cheeks grew warmer.

"Hello!"

I started. I couldn't believe that that high, smooth, sophisticated voice belonged to the petite girl before me; I would've been less surprised to hear that the Volturi lost a battle against Hitler.

"Hi," I breathed, and she smiled, stunning me to the core. Could she be so gorgeous and be human, so mature and yet so immature, so young and yet so intimidating? Were such perfect babies born?

"I'm Zuri, what's your name?"

Zuri. Such a fairy-like name, and the second I thought that, it became a possibility.

"I'm Bella," I said, and held my hand out again. She shook it. Her temperature was no warmer than mine, and no colder either.

I felt Edward's eyes on me. Looking up, he said, with a small smile on his heavenly face, "She's not one of us." I raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth as another question bubbled up to my tongue.

"And she doesn't _know _about us, either," Rosalie shot in, answering that question. She wasn't glaring at me for once, just looking.

I blinked my gaze away from her to focus on Esme, who cleared her throat and said lightly, "Shall we adjourn to the living room? Zuri, sit next to Bella so you can explain everything to her."

That was when I noticed that I was still holding Zuri's hand, and she didn't seem eager to let go. Her wrist was a fragile stem, and her fingers were long and slender, a beautiful blossom of grace. She took her right hand carefully from mine, replacing it with her left and skipping to my side. Edward beckoned, and I walked nervously to the living room. Zuri was silent, staring fixedly at my face as though it was a work of art. I reached the plain white leather couch and sat down in the middle. Zuri hopped up on my right and Edward perched on my left, sliding his arm nonchalantly around my waist.

Edward squeezed me encouragingly. I took that as my cue and turned stiffly towards Zuri. It felt like butterflies were having a piñata party in my stomach.

"So," I said cautiously, and Zuri's head jerked up. She smiled again, and I glimpsed her teeth. They were like white daisies, perfectly straight, bright white and alluring. My face felt green with envy.

"Are you…uh…" I choked out. "I mean—how old are you?"

"Seven."

"How did you meet the Cullen's? Or…how did they come across you?" I thought for a moment and then rushed to add, "If you don't want to tell me, by all means, don't. I'm only curious."

She rubbed my hand comfortingly, as it was still in her grasp. "It's fine. Curiosity never killed the cat. It is, indeed, an intriguing story."

I gaped. She was smart, too.

"How did the Cullen's come across me?...Alright, well. I was five years old when my parents passed on. They took a private jet to Russia. They were photographers, see. They were headed for the immense forest out there, not a particular airport. Their pilot was great, he dropped them safely off in the middle of a meadow in Northern Russia. Everything went downhill from there. Sure, they both got some good shots, but the film was soon destroyed.

"When they ran out of camping food, they began their hike to a nearby village. They discovered a path after about five miles of walking. In no time they reached civilization. Food. Heat. Clean clothing. They took refuge in a shabby hotel. That night, the killings began. My father was killed, his body vanished overnight. All of his belongings were reported ruined, like his clothes and luggage bags—ripped to shreds, his reading glasses and wedding ring—removed after the murder and snapped clean in half. The film in his camera was burned, useless ashes scattered amongst the broken wedding rings. Why the murderer did such a thing is still a mystery to all who hear of it.

"My mother phoned the children shelter I was staying at in Portland, Oregon, because I lack any living relative. Most of them were mountain climbers or studied a certain jungle species, and died in the wilderness. Anyway, my mother phoned and told me the tragic news. I heard her death over the phone. She murmured a soft "I love you," and mere seconds afterwards she screamed. The scream was cut short, and I heard a peculiar sucking noise, like two people kissing or an octopus's suction cups. Then a new voice came onto the phone. It was smooth, almost like velvet, if voices could have textures." A vampire, certainly. The way she described thinks like me was uncanny. "It was obviously male, and he sounded about 25, or around there. He whispered, "Your mother is dead now. I'll come for you next. I love you. See you soon…Zuri." I don't know how he knew my name, and I haven't a clue why he said he loved me. Taunting me, I suppose. I was frightened and, at the same time, stuck. All I wanted to do was hear that voice again." I could relate to that addiction.

"There was an article in the newspaper about my parents, who were quite famous at the time. It told everything I have told you, plus a little about me and what became of me. I was moved from the shelter to a nearby orphanage. I was distraught at first but, being so young, was more concerned about the present second, about having my teddy bear and my blanket. Actually, the blanket was my mother's. It still smells like her…" Poor girl. She's so young. So why does she sound as educated and as sure of herself as a 30 year-old college professor?

"When I was six years-old, I was visited by countless people, interested in having a young daughter. Alice came. She talked with me, but mostly stared into my eyes with a burning intensity I wasn't used to at the time. I remember being afraid of her incessant gazing with those otherworldly eyes. Mainly, though, I was terrified of her voice, so crystal clear and smooth. Like velvet. When she realized this, she opted to stare at me. She came four days in a row. Then she left, and I recall feeling sad, believing that I would never see her again." I know that feeling. But for me 'sadness' and 'madness' are sort of the same thing.

"But on my seventh birthday she arrived once more, signing all the government and possession papers for me, Zuri Patterson. I was thrilled, but not sure what to expect. Never did I think I would be so welcomed into this wonderful family." You?, I wanted to say. At least you're a sight to see, like them. "Jasper has to leave, but no one will tell me why. Alice has explained that in public outside of Forks I am to say that Edward is my father. She told me this morning that tonight I would meet my "pretend" mother. That's you." I took a ragged breath through my nose. "She informed me that, except for the eyes, I look like a combination of the two of you. I see that she is correct and I am delighted to meet you, Bella. My past is traumatic, yes, but I am so young and the world is mine. I hope to make my future a happy one, with you as my mother." She wrapped her slight arms around me.

It was a lot to drink in. Edward's hand was gripping my waist tightly now, reassuring and the only link I had to reality at that moment. A minute passed and Zuri remained latched onto me, so I slowly placed my arms around her small body. I was surprised at how natural it felt, having her in my arms.

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Edward tucked me into bed an hour later, after warm food and loving goodbyes.

"Is that where you've been?" I asked, my eyelids drooping.

"What do you mean?" he muttered, smoothing my hair down my back.

"At night, when you leave. And is that why you're warm, because you're holding her?"

His hand halted at my shoulder blades, chilling my bones. I couldn't see his face, for my own was buried in his chest. I waited.

"No."

I could hear honesty ringing in that single syllable. "I'm assuming I'll find out everything in due time, so I won't push it. But will you stay here tonight, please? I never sleep without you."

His right hand resumed its stroking, while his left hand dipped under my chin, lifting my face to his and forcing my eyelids to fall open. He swooped down, his lips smashing mine. I felt his energy and responded, my body doing its best to slam him against the wall. He released my lips about 20 blissful seconds later, and his eyes were wild, his hand reaching down to pry my legs from his beneath the quilt. I panted into his face, and he panted into mine. I had gone too far, but I didn't care. He didn't seem to mind terribly, but I knew it saddened him that he couldn't respond to my lustful actions as Jacob surely could. Maybe that made us even. He holds a horrible secret above my head, perfectly aware that I hate surprises, and I taunt him when he kisses me until he breaks a barrier or two out of frustration and want.

An eye for an eye.

"Yes, I'll stay the night. I'm sorry you never sleep, I really am. Due time, as you said. In due time, you'll know everything." He took a deep breath. "You can ask questions tomorrow. Some I may not answer. Be patient, love. We'll visit Zuri if you'd like." He watched, smiling, as my eyelids fluttered closed. "I love you, Bella."

I shivered, remembering the "I love you's" in Zuri's story.

"Love you, too."

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_Tell me what you think, people!! And tell me if you're curious enough or whatever that I should keep going. Next one up tomorrow!_

_-marlise_


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Hey guys

_AN: _

Chapter three!! The suspense is building!

**Chapter Three: ****Attempt **

Saturday.

I woke up and Edward was still there. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with something on his lap. Instead of seeing what it was, I squinted my eyes and raised my eyebrows at him, speculating.

"You said you would stay here all night," I stated.

"I did stay here all night."

"But by my _side_. Why didn't you stay _there_?" I was childishly upset that he hadn't—I had wanted to kiss him past his "zone" limits again this morning. That was kind of hard now, seeing as he was wide awake, instead of in a lull, as he often was at night, and so would be on his guard when kissing me. I sighed.

He just looked baffled. "I—I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking down at the thing on his lap.

I blushed, regretting making him feel bad, and said, "S'okay." Then I too looked at whatever was on his lap.

It was breakfast on a tray. Eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast and coffee; exactly what I would order if we went out. It was simple and delicious. But Edward had made too much—I couldn't eat a single restaurant order, and he had made _more _than one!

"Thank y…" That was when I noticed something strange. Edward hadn't made too much; the tray had breakfast set for two…

I raised my eyebrows, staring at him quizzically.

"You…" I said slowly, warily. "You, uh, set the tray…for two."

He looked down, as though embarrassed, but not before I glimpsed the guard over his normally honest, soulful eyes. I knew he was hiding something, but I didn't want him to be troubled.

"Hey," I whispered after a minute of silence, and reached out and gently curled my hand around his forearm. He raised his head a fraction of an inch, glancing at me shyly. I smiled encouragingly, but he just looked down again. He fixated on my hand upon his arm, his smooth, pale forehead crinkled with sadness. His mouth opened and emitted a tiny whimper, in such a tone that made me draw back, wondering what could be wrong. Usually I would move closer if he made such a sound, tingling all over with kempt-up-too-long lustful excitement. He followed my movements with his eyes, focusing on how the veins shifted in my wrist, nothing in his expression but sadness.

I was so concerned, why couldn't he just be happy? This had to stop.

"Edward, look at me," I snapped. "I hate to be brash, I really do, but you need to explain to me what's been going on, where you go at night and what Alice had a vision of _today_, or you need to tell me why you made two breakfasts _now_. Were you planning on eating with me? _What_? I've been _so _patient, but this is getting to be too much."

I pushed the quilt aside gently, being careful not to hit Edward with the loaded tray, and stepped out of the bed. I crossed the room, halting abruptly at the door when the guilt hit me. I felt horrible. He probably was planning on eating with me, just to be sweet and apologize for leaving at night. I stood there, my back to him, my hand on the doorknob, loosening my grip with each passing thought.

Arms as cold and hard as icebergs encircled my wait, his icy fingers sliding down the front of my stomach to fiddle with the hem of my tight, indigo-colored night shirt. Alice had made me buy it specially for him. Is this what she was thinking?

Of course his intent: I couldn't think straight anymore. I couldn't breathe either when he slid his fingertips under the rim of my black pajama bottoms. My head was swimming, begging me for air. My hands were shaking at my sides; my right one had long since slid off the doorknob. I was scared and excited for what was to come. But I was probably just kidding myself. He wasn't ready, he had told me. We had set the wedding date, and that's when...

He brought his head down to rest his ear on my shoulder, staring at me from the side.

"I'm sorry," he whispered glumly. He pulled his hands up to lift me by the waist and twist me to face him. I moaned when his fingers escaped, and he looked at me, questioning, no longer sad, but I could still detect pain, linked directly to regret for upsetting me, flitting about in his golden eyes which, oddly enough, were speckled with green, and a brooding gray surrounded his irises.

"What is it?" he pressed, his forehead crinkling when I squirmed in his grasp, unwilling to answer him.

"Nothing," I lied. "It's nothing."

"Bella," he breathed, sliding his cool hand under my chin and gifting me with his crooked smile. I smiled timidly back, hating that my resolve was breaking. I fought against it. I wouldn't tell him, it was too inappropriate. "Bella, Bella, Bella," he said, chuckling. He didn't look mournful anymore, and for that I was grateful. "I know you don't like surprises, trust me, I know, but you're going to like this one, I promise. Alice had a vision that's not going to come true, I know that for a fact. And yes, I made two breakfasts so that I could eat with you." He grinned, and this time his eyes were in it.

My eyes widened, trying to imagine him eating a whole meal, since he had told me before that that pizza he had eaten part of when I first came to Forks was disgusting, and that he had great trouble digesting food, so he threw it up, which he claimed was not a very enjoyable experience. But I ignored my shock to focus on the other things he had said.

"I'll appreciate the surprise then, if it's good, depending on when I discover it," I said, gazing into his eyes sternly. It was hard, but I couldn't get distracted. I thought about what he had said about Alice's vision. "And how can you be sure that Alice's vision was wrong?"

"I just know," he said simply, and I could tell he was trying his hardest to dazzle me, so I would fall into the trap of telling him the reasons behind my previous moan. I think he really knew, he just wanted me to say it, to hear me profess my physical longing for him. As if there wasn't enough proof already.

I fought to think about Alice's vision and the stupid surprise again. I had to be serious. I wanted answers, and I refused to let him hypnotize me, capture me and never let me go.

Taking a deep breath, I boldly said, "Edward, I never bet against Alice.

After a wonderful breakfast in bed, Edward and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking. Sipping some more coffee, my second cup that morning, I giggled at Edward's expression as he sniffed the air disdainfully. Eating with him was, I admit, a delightful experience, simply because I got to watch him squirm as he took each bite.

"So, Edward," I addressed him, trying to be nonchalant, switching the subject from Calculus. I was tired of math. "When exactly do you suppose I'll find out about your little surprise?"

His smile faded slightly, but he fought to keep the conversation light too.

"Um…" His eyes darted around my face nervously.

I could tell he wasn't going to answer—either he didn't know or he wanted even the date of the surprise to be a secret. For now.

"Okay, well, I know you're not going to tell me, so…" His eyes finally met mine and he gave me a tiny, apologetic smile. I returned it warmly, but internally I was fuming. I tried to think of something...some way to find out everything without him finding out. There had to be some way…

Alice.

Alice knew everything. I doubted there was something about anyone in her family that she didn't know. And she would tell me. With the right amount of persuading and promises of makeovers or shopping trips, she would cave. It was evil, sneaky, and I felt like a criminal. But by going through with everything she wanted me to _without_ complaining? That was pure sacrifice. My dignity would be nonexistent by the time she was done with me.

Edward was looking at my calculating face, his own face deep in concentration, and I knew he was trying harder than ever before to read my mind. But he couldn't, and I had never been so grateful.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" he asked me, and it was easy to detect the plea in his voice.

I went through my lies quickly, because he couldn't know my real intention was to talk to Alice alone, or he would figure everything out. I smoothed my face, staring at him blankly, and he smiled, bemused, seeing through my attempt at innocence.

"Don't lie to me, Bella," he said firmly, making it so very difficult to lie still.

"I wouldn't, Edward, don't you trust me?"

Sigh. "Yes."

"I want to go see Zuri."

In the car he apologized for accusing me of lying, and my guilt became more pronounced. I'd probably be blushing until I confessed. He told me Zuri was most likely playing some game with Alice, Rosalie and Esme. We pulled up and went inside, calling the girls' names. Instead Emmett came bounding in, informing us that Rosalie and Alice were with Zuri in the castle. Apparently, Esme had gone grocery shopping.

Emmett disappeared and I turned to Edward. "Castle?"

He nodded. "It's in the back garden. I've only seen it from afar, so I can't tell you much."

Edward slipped his arm around my waist and we peered out of the enormous window that made up the back of the house. There on the back lawn, in the sprawling garden, was a castle. It was a child's playhouse, but of course with the Cullen's money it was so much more than that. It actually looked like an ancient castle, with stone turrets and a giant drawbridge door, painted black, gray, and brown with fake vines in full pink blossom running across it. I was astonished to see a moat circling the humongous building. It was full to the brim with peaceful, turquoise-colored water. There were balconies coming off of the upper levels, and there looked to be about three floors in all.

It looked so real, and set against the colorful garden it took my breath away. The garden's path led to the edge of the moat, and since the drawbridge was up at the moment, the lovely castle looked foreboding. It was probably 100 meters away, so I suggested to Edward that we start walking, and he agreed.

We walked slowly, but before I knew it I was standing before the moat. I leaned forward to stare at the shimmering water. A school of fish was swimming gracefully just below the surface, and I reached out to flick the water. I was on my toes, reveling in the feel of the water and the beauty of my surroundings and everything, when I began to tip, headfirst. I screamed and Edward caught me round the waste, laughing all the while.

He pulled me into his arms, my back to his chest. "Bella, you know I can just call for Alice. But you've probably gotten her attention already." His chest bumped up and down, and I knew he was laughing again.

As though he had seen it coming, a slate in the door slid open, revealing a black rectangle, about a foot long and half a foot high. "Who dares to call on the Crocus Palace?" There were, indeed, crocuses of every color circling the moat.

The voice was obviously Alice's. It floated the ten or so feet from the door across the water to us. I moved to Edward's side and gripped his hand. He stared determinedly at the black hole. "Edward and Bella Cullen," he responded.

I smiled.

We waited. All was silent, and I grew nervous. Edward rubbed my hand soothingly. Finally Alice's voice came back. It sounded like she was speaking into a microphone, her voice echoed so clearly.

"Allow me to fetch the Queen. I will be but a moment."

It felt like twenty minutes had gone by, and Edward and I were lounging in the soft, delicate grass, blowing on the water, admiring the flowers, kissing every other minute, when we were interrupted by a clearing of a throat. A voice higher than Alice's, younger-sounding, but intensified by the resonance in the narrow stretch of air, drifted swiftly to us.

"What business have you being here?"

Edward opened his mouth to reply, but I beat him to the punch for once.

"We would very much like to have a chat with the Queen, Zuri Patterson." I hoped I sounded sure and confident, not weak and pleading. I wouldn't look at anything but the yellow crocuses in front of me, and I played with them absentmindedly for a second. Then she responded.

"Yes, the Queen is Zuri Patterson. That is I."

"May we enter?" Edward asked politely.

He grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet, and we stood once more, his arm around my waist, waiting for out final answer.

"Yes."

The drawbridge clanged open, landing on a small wooden perch in the moat that I hadn't noticed before. I didn't move, and Edward didn't try and make me. Through the large archway opening, all was black. I transported his hand from mine to my waist. Feeling secure with his hook around my body, I started forward.

We were standing just inside. Far off to the left, about ten or so meters, a massive fire burned, illuminating the room meagerly. There was a forlorn throne against the wall opposite us, with nothing surrounding it. To the right I could just make out the outline of an enormous, oval table, with what appeared to be about 20 matching chairs circling it. I was scanning the room once more, trying to figure out the colors of everything, when the fire was abruptly distinguished.

I yelped and threw my arms around Edward, who instinctively tightened his hold on me. It was so dark—I could only see Edward's eyes, glinting with light that he saw with his enhanced eyesight.

"Edward, tell me what you see," I whispered desperately.

He twisted slightly in my grasp, leaning down to kiss me comfortingly on the forehead. "I see a doorway, roughly twenty meters in front of us. There is a light somewhere; I think it's candlelight. No one is holding the source. I believe they mean for us to follow the light."

My lips trembled, and his were suddenly on them, stilling them. He broke away and looked at me intently, waiting for me to answer.

"Follow the light," I breathed, my voice cracking. Then I laughed silently. "Geez, we're not _dieing_!" Edward laughed with me, kissing me gently again.

"Do you want to?" he asked me softly.

"Yes," I murmured, certain for once. "I wish they wouldn't make this such a scary experience. I think I'll be cold forever." And I shuddered, looking into the interminable darkness.

Edward's face hardened and he kissed me once again. This time it was passionate and, even with our mouths closed, it was as though I could feel the love pouring from him to me.

I pulled away to breathe. "Sorry," I managed. "I didn't mean…that kind of cold. I'm frightened, that's all."

He nodded. "I know."

But his arm tightened around me even more as he straightened.

We marched ahead, him tugging my stumbling form along. "We're in the room now. Do you see the light?"

I did. It was so small, a mere spark on a mere stub of candle lying on its side on the ground.

"Yes."

We went to the pathetic thing, and Edward picked it up, carefully turning it upright so as to keep the tiny flame alive.

The room we were in was miniature, perhaps half the size of my room. Directly on our right was a spiraling staircase. I could see only about seven feet of it in the horribly dim light, and then I assumed it continued to twirl up into the dark. To our left was a wall, and behind us was a single, plain wooden chair.

"Let's go up," Edward suggested, and so we did.

The pitiable firelight from our useless candle wisped out when we were maybe ten feet up on the staircase. I faltered in the sudden darkness, and Edward caught me and practically carried me up after that.

At the top he actually swept me up into his arms like a child and walked on. I figured he could see another light that I couldn't. His strides were long and I saw what he had seen in no time.

It was a different room—the walls were stone; the air itself chilled my bones. To the left, away from the doorway, which I would have seen through, were hundreds of candles. Edward walked up to them, keeping me away from the harmful heat of the fire. He loomed over them, over me, and eventually I found a way to see through the nook of his underarm. After several minutes of concentration, I saw that the candles were set to form three words.

_ARE YOU READY?_

In any other situation, those words would have been perfectly fine. They may even have provoked laughter.

But now I just felt fear. I was already frightened, but now I was terrified. I whimpered helplessly in Edward's arms, feeling lost and upset. I wanted this to end!

Edward pulled me closer to his chest, making me feel like a bigger baby than I was. He curved around the candles, his feet moving briskly and quietly across the stone room. Following candles, sitting nearly five feet apart now, we came to another staircase and up he went, with me still in his arms.

In the room above there were candles sprinkled across the floor, and a small cloaked figure stood in the middle. For one heart-stopping moment I could have sworn it was Jane. I shook the though away. Impossible.

The figure turned and walked out, and Edward ran at human speed after. Just before we reached the doorway, it closed. A stone wall, too thick for even Edward to crash through, stood in our way. I sat, curled up, against the wall, cursing Alice for her cruel, clever mind.

Edward gave up on the breaking the barrier and came to sit beside me, curling his arm around me. I leaned into him, my heartbeat calming at the same time as it sped up from his touch.

I was falling asleep on Edward's shoulder, when suddenly, the room seemed smaller, and I could have sworn there were less candles all of a sudden. But I blamed it on my tired state and my eyes closed all the way.

"Bella," Edward whispered, and his voice was frantic. It woke me up.

"Yeah?" I said, sitting up and turning to him.

He looked at me sadly. "The-the walls are closing in," he told me, reluctance clear on his face.

My eyes widened and I focused on the feel of my bottom on floor. I felt like I was in a car, I realized, a very slow-moving car. I could feel my bottom sliding across the floor at a snail's pace. I looked around. When the walls met a candle, the candle vanished. They were illusions.

I felt my eyes tearing up.

"Cover your ears," Edward ordered, and I did.

His arm came from around my back to cup my face. He stared into me wet eyes, and his own eyes were on fire. "You'll be okay," he said, and it sounded like he was convincing himself too. "I promise."

I nodded profusely and he gave me a little smile.

"You're so cute."

I smiled back, or tried to, and covered my ears once more. A second later, I found out why it was necessary.

"Alice!" he roared. "Stop! Open the door!"

The walls kept on coming forward and going forward, but it was so slow, we still had about 14 feet between us and the other wall.

Edward took a deep my breath, and I quickly held my ears tighter.

"Zuri Anna Cullen-Patterson! This is your father and I demand that you _stop_!"

The walls stilled. The door opened. All I could think was, it was _her_?

She wanted my love, but I wasn't sure I would give it to her after this.

Edward cradled me in his arms, noting my unmoving state, and walked speedily out the door. In this room there were four people, whose faces I could not make out beneath their hoods. There was an immense fireplace behind them, and it was adorned with stones and crystals—diamonds, sapphires, rubies, garnet, emerald, even limestone and marble. It all glittered wickedly, and the light glanced off the facets, silhouetting the people standing there with rainbows.

I gulped. Four people—this was all too familiar.

"Jane?" I said, and she was on me.

I struggled at first, but then I realized that this was more like a hug than an attack.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she muttered, coming away to stare at my face.

"Alice?" I asked, incredulous.

She nodded, and she looked sincerely guilty. For Alice, that was rare.

She shrugged. "I guess I though it'd be fun."

Edward leaned towards her, growling. "Well it wasn't," he spat in her face.

"Edward!" I scolded.

Alice hung her head. "No, he's right to be mad. Furious! I didn't realize how much it would seem like…where you had been before."

I didn't want to think the name either, let alone say it.

She continued. "And I suppose I just went a little too far with the whole scary factor. I should have stopped when you said so. No, I shouldn't have done any of this. The walls were my idea, but it was Emmett who thought of the candle words…no, no, no…I-I shouldn't blame it on someone else. I'm sorry, Bella, truly I am. I'll understand if you never forgive me."

I frowned. It was true, I was displeased, and it was pretty much her fault I was in such distress, but I loved her and, no matter what, I would always. She was family.

"I forgive you already, Alice," I told her, and Edward leaned back, and I just barely heard him say, "She doesn't deserve it," under his breath. I turned to him. "Inyour eyes, maybe."

And then I pulled Alice to me and hugged her with all my might. Over her shoulder I saw the three others, and I remembered why we had come. Zuri. Well, Alice, but if Zuri was to be my "daughter," I had to get to know her like the back of my hand.

"So, what's your favorite color?"

"Gray."

"But—really? I mean"—

"Hey! Daddy, you said you wouldn't interrupt. And what about the rule Bella made at the beginning, hm? _No protesting Zuri's responses_?"

"Sorry, Zuri."

"Favorite hobby?"

It was the Favorite's Quiz, written by Alice. We had only just finished the Dislikes Quiz, written by Alice, and before that was the Physical Comparison Test, planned by Alice. And before that…never mind.

Zuri was perched in a violet leather chair in front of the glimmering fireplace, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett were sitting in a sapphire-blue couch to the left of the giant fire, and Edward was cuddling me in the bright red loveseat on the right. The crystals in the fireplace were glowing in the firelight, so they looked like great, colorful, luminous eyes, watching me always. I tried not to look at the red ones.

"Favorite food?"

"Green salad. Oh, and I love cauliflower. Usually _in_ the salad. And balsamic vinegar dressing or none at all. I actually don't mind eating plain lettuce for snacks and stuff."

I couldn't comprehend any of this. I was a good eater too, but I didn't choose to eat vegetables. What _was_ it with this child? I was so confused.

Edward must've seen my blank expression, because he chuckled and squeezed his arm tighter around me, encouraging me to keep going.

I looked down at the paper, but before I could ask what her favorite writing utensil was, another question popped into my head. It wasn't for Zuri, though.

"Alice," I said, looking her squarely in the eyes. "Where's Jasper? Why did he leave?"

Rosalie coughed, her lovely face turning sour, and Emmett squirmed. Alice just looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the world, glancing pointedly at Zuri. I still didn't understand and they could tell. They looked very dismayed, uncertain. Edward just kissed me on the top of my head.

"Jasper…" Alice began apprehensively, averting her eyes from Zuri. "Is away in…Cuba." She paused, turning fully to Zuri, who, indeed, had furrowed her brow in confusion. "He's visiting his parents. They're there on vacation." She twisted her head back to me and mouthed something that looked like _Nebraska_. Now _I _furrowed _my_ brow.

"Nebraska?" I blurted, causing everyone to stare at me with expressions ranging from incredulity to puzzlement, and Emmett to laugh uncontrollably, which didn't help my already burning cheeks.

Edward simply kissed me again and leaned down to whisper, "Alaska, love, she said Alaska."

I tilted my head to look up at him. He was smiling, amused by my stupidity.

"Oh," I whispered back. "You know, that makes more sense," to which he grabbed my face and pulled me into one of those heavenly, rare, push-me-over-the-edge kisses.

We were stopped early by Alice's loud clearing of her throat, and I groaned in disappointment when Edward snatched his hands back and turned his face down, breathing heavily through his nostrils and looking embarrassed.

It just made me want to kiss him again.

I focused on breathing, laying my hand on his to help the process.

"Okay," Alice said, shuffling her quiz papers like the entrepreneur she was. "May we continue now? As cute as you two are, I don't want to sit here and watch you kiss."

I blushed, and Edward swiped his hand across my warm cheek, one at a time.

"Actually," Zuri piped up. "I would rather not continue at the moment. Can we go outside and play?" The authorization in her diminutive voice surprised me. She kept reminding me of her "father." I rather liked it.

Alice looked apprehensive, and her eyes kept flitting to me. "Well…" One way or another, Zuri was going to get her way, and I think Alice realized this. "I—I don't see why not."

Me and all the other vampires in the room looked at Alice, inquiring with our eyes.

Zuri jumped up. "I'll be outside!" she exclaimed. "Meet me out there!" She dashed out through the doorway Edward and I had come through, and even I could hear her small tennis shoes hitting each stair as she hurried away.

When I was sure Zuri couldn't hear us anymore, I turned on Alice.

"What was that all about?" I demanded. "Why did you keep looking at me?"

Alice hesitated. "Bella…" Again with the trailing off. I wanted to talk to Alice, but it didn't look like she was going to give in very easily.

"Ali—"

"Bella, we need to talk," she said before I could get angry.

"Tell me about it!" I said, a little louder than necessary.

"Everyone else has to leave."

Emmett and Rosalie stood, and Emmett patted Alice on the shoulder as he passed, propelling her with his exceeding strength, causing her to rock back and forth for a second. Edward curled his arm further around my waist, till his hand was resting over my belly. He was looking intently at Alice, warning her of something with his severe look. I couldn't name it.

"I'm not leaving her side, Alice, especially after you threw that traumatic experience at her," he stated coolly, but with a calm, relaxed edge that was deadly. "And no," he suddenly spit at her, his eyes narrowing to slits, "you are _not _telling her!"

Faster than I thought possible, Alice was on her feet, furious. "She deserves to know!" she yelled, her upper lip curling and her eyebrows moving like mad in her rage. "I can't _believe _you have kept this from her for so long! Someone's got to tell her _something_! I thought the dark was where you _didn't _want her, Edward!"

That hit a nerve. Edward didn't stand up, but I knew it was for my sake only. I was terrified of what the truth could be, and if I stood my knees would surely buckle. Instead he raised his voice so much and insulted her so horribly that she stumbled backward onto the couch, and I covered my ears with shaking hands.

"Nice pun, bitch!" he roared. "You tell her one little thing, and I will personally get you back, worse than ever before, you good-for-nothing sister! And that's a _promise_!"

He was finished. The silence bounced around the room, seeming to hit Alice frequently—she kept twitching. Otherwise she remained perfectly still, her face contorted into a mask of pain and shock, fear and slowly fading glimmers of hope. I probably looked like a fish out of water. And a livid fish, at that.

At least two minutes had passed when Edward finally appeared to come back to life. His face smoothed over, he took a slow, steady breath, and slowly turned to face me. He saw my face and he was clearly shocked. Then he looked ashamed and guilty.

"Bella, I'm…"

He leaned forward then, as though to hug me, but I found my legs first. I stood up. My voice not having returned, I just glared at him and watched him shrink back in delight. My ego a bit bigger, I walked with purpose to Alice, grabbed her chilly hand, and stalked off. After a second she squeezed my hand, gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and matched my pace. We walked through the doorway, not once thinking of Edward.

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AN:

_Well? Are you curious? Should I keep going? Cuz 3 reviews for two chaptersis not very impressive.___

_Ack!! Does anyone but me really stink at math? See, my parents suck at it, but somehow my brother ended up a math genius, just like he's good at everything I suck at. Boo…anyway, im doing trig hw, and it's a pretty pathetic process. Lol._

_marlise_


	4. Chapter 4

AN:

_AN: this is a shortie. Hope u like!!_

**Chapter Four: ****Pathetic**

EPOV

My life was miserable. Ever since Bella walked out the door with Alice yesterday afternoon, I had been a wreck. I wanted to give my life up to Alice, I felt so terrible for what I had said. She was the best sister anyone could ask for, and it took me about two seconds after she walked calmly out the door to realize what a vile rogue I had been.

And Bella. Ah, Bella. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her. To feel her again. I wanted that bliss back. I needed it. I had to prove to her that I wasn't like that. I wasn't an awful, vulgar, wretched excuse for a man. Last night, Saturday night, I went to her window around nine, like I usually do. I was nervous though, expecting her to order me out. What she did was worse.

The window was closed, the fading yellow curtains drawn. And taped to the outside of the window was an envelope. I grabbed it, my heart rupturing, leaving a wide fault. Quickly and quietly, I jumped to the ground and sprinted away with the letter.I could still see her window from where I stood in the shadows. I glanced down and read the first word before a movement caught my eye. Bella's curtain was flicked back; a beautiful, tear-stained face was staring at the mark the tape had made on the window. She averted her gaze to stare at the forest bordering her house, and I swear she looked directly at me. I gulped and waited for her to do something. She slowly raised her hand and brought it towards the window, as though to press her palm against it. But instead, when her hand was inches from the glass, from making the gesture that would let me know she still missed me, if only a little, she dropped it. The curtain swept closed.

My dead heart swept with it before breaking a little more. Bella made me believe I had a heart, and now she was breaking it.

I wish she had forgotten about me when she had the chance.

I calmed myself enough to turn back to the letter. **Edward,** it read. **You know I love you. I'd say I didn't if there was any way my hand would let me form the words. But you would deserve it. If I'm what makes you happy, then I will gladly stay away from you for a while. Go stay in Alaska or something. I'm being harsh; don't think I'm not aware. But I can't forgive you so easily this time. Remember, after the event in Volterra, you offered to beg for me to take you back, and I said no? Quite the contrary this time. **

**See you in class tomorrow. Don't expect me to talk to you.**

** Isabella.**

My body was convulsing with painful, wracking, useless sobs by the end. With one last, longing glance at Bella's window, I turned and ran home. I spent the night in Zuri's castle, missing Bella all the while.

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It was Monday morning. I stumbled out of the castle, my sanctuary until I was welcome at Bella's again. And until I felt comfortable being in a 100 feet radius around Alice again.

Esme had set a new, clean outfit outside the drawbridge, and she had stuck a beach umbrella over it to keep it dry.

"Thank you, Esme," I said, hoping she heard me.

I didn't really care what I looked like, because for the time being there was no one to impress. But I took the clothes anyway, rinsing myself off in the shower in the great stone bathroom that took up one of the circular turrets. I was only able to function believing that Bella would eventually be with me again. After changing, I ran to school, getting there a whole hour early. No one was there except for the janitors and, although they offered, I told them I preferred to sit outside in the rain. And I did. It was cleansing.

But I knew I couldn't wash all my troubles away with the rain.

Then I smelled her. It was still 45 minutes till 8 o'clock, when people started arriving. She must be slowed down by me in the morning.

That only added to my list!

Her smell was always so much stronger, not to mention sweeter, in the rain. I wanted to see her. To match her truly unassailable beauty with her heavenly aroma. I sat at the picnic table in the fog, drenched, gazing expectantly in front of me, where her scent was coming from.

Like an angel, she appeared out of the fog, the rain seeming to make a rainbow around her. She either didn't know I was there because of the fog, or she was blatantly ignoring me, for she sat opposite me, not once noting my presence.

She took her old, brown leather messenger bag off her shoulder and stuffed it under the solid table, where it was dry. I watched her, wanting more than ever to reach out and touch her hand, her cheek.

"Hello, Bella," I said, not really caring if she responded or not, just needing to say her name aloud. I loved the way it rolled off my tongue, sounding like a beautiful bell to my ears. It was, if you took the Italian—and English—contorted definition.

She looked up, her eyes wide with false surprise. I wanted to smile at this adorable display of her attempted acting, but it wouldn't feel right with her like this.

She disappeared under the table, coming up a minute later with a pen and notebook. I grabbed my umbrella and held it over the center of the table, to protect the paper. She hadn't yet made eye contact with me.

Staring determinedly at my hand hovering in the air, she flipped open her notebook and opened the pen with her teeth. She began scribbling something, chewing furiously on her pen's cap. A second later she slid the notebook to me. I picked it up and read:

**I know you got my letter. So you should remember that I'm not talking to you. This is the only communication you should expect from me for at least five days. **

**Isabella.**

I finished, blinked, and, too quick for her to stop me, reached forward and snatched her pen away. My fingers brushed her hand for a second, and I nearly died all over again when she flinched away, looking like I had slapped her.

Trying to appear stronger than I felt at the moment, I set the notebook in front of me and wrote:

**Yes, I did receive your letter. I got a written note from you, then and now, and that's more than I could ask for. Thank you. I know you won't accept this, but I'm sorry.**

**I love you so much, and I can't stand this. But I shouldn't complain. I deserve this, I know. And seeing you is enough. You're so beautiful. **

**See you in class. –E **

I slid the book back at her. She took it, closed it, and put it back in her bag. I just hoped she would read my note later. Even if it meant nothing. Right now.

I _would _win her back.

Bella then realized that I still had her pen in my hand. Noticing this myself, I smugly decided to keep my hold on it. If she grabbed it, maybe our hands would touch again.

She slipped her bag over her shoulder, glared at me, and spit her pen cap at the table. It bounced over to me and stilled. I looked at her, astonished, to find her sliding off the bench. She stood at the end, throwing one last spiteful glance at me before stomping away.

I couldn't believe I had held on to her pen, like a little kid unwilling to share, in the hopes that her fingers would touch mine for a split second. Saying I felt culpable was an understatement. I was just beginning to realize that pretty much everything I did, I did only if I got something in return. I was despicable; I deserved so much worse a punishment than I was recieving. Bella was being kind. I deserved the death sentence—again. The pain of the change, of never seeing Bella again. I just wanted my skin to disintegrate as the wind blew against it, like I was made out of grainy sandstone instead of smooth marble.

I was pathetic.

_AN:_

_Aww, poor Edward. _

_Im watching mean girls on tv, so im gonna go. _

_Please review, tell me what u think!!_

_marlise _


	5. Chapter 5

AN:

_AN:_

_The last chapter was Edward after what happened with Alice and all, and this chapter is Alice and Bella after what happened. And just in case y'all r wondering the same thing one of my reviewers was, in the last chapter, Bella was mad at Edward for hurting Alice. Alice has told her nothing…till this chapter. _

_So read on and hope you enjoy!!_

**Chapter Five: ****fraction**

BPOV

I walked haughtily away from Edward, leaving him soaked and gorgeous as ever, with a stunned and guilty look on his face.

I was a bit disappointed in myself for giving in. I wasn't supposed to communicate with him _at all_. But now I was dying to know what he had written. I did miss him, I'd be lying if I said I didn't, but only a little.

Well, that's a lie too.

I ran inside the locker building and relished in the heat. I would never have sat down in the freezing rain if Edward hadn't been there. It was difficult, but I made a point not to look him in the eyes. Then I would've really been in trouble.

Across the building from me were the girl's restrooms, and I scurried over to them, fumbling in my bag for the notebook. I pushed on the door, which was, thank goodness, unlocked, and rushed into the first stall.

I found the page with his lovely, intricate handwriting quickly, it being so different from my own. I reread what I had written, fighting against the remorseful lump that wanted to block my throat. In record time, I finished, and turned my gaze to the bottom of the page. His response read:

**Yes, I did receive your letter. I got a written note from you, then and now, and that's more than I could ask for. Thank you. I know you won't accept this, but I'm sorry.**

**I love you so much, and I can't stand this. But I shouldn't complain. I deserve this, I know. And seeing you is enough. You're so beautiful. **

**See you in class. –E**

Of course my eyes were swimming with tears by the end. I was trying so hard to not let them spill over, it hurt.

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School was stupid and awkward, because I kept trying to avoid Edward, and I had every single class with him. At least I didn't give him any more notes.

At lunch Alice asked me to shop with her after school. I would shop with her every day after what happened, I told her.

I have a feeling I'm going to regret that.

But then I said that I wanted some explanations. I said I knew she knew what was going on with Edward, and she was going to tell me something, or I wasn't going.

"I saw this, and yes, I will spill a little," she had said cheerfully. I think she was looking forward to doing what Edward didn't want her to do.

We were heading to my house so I could leave a note for Charlie. Alice and I had been borrowing Esme's golden Sudan mini-van, and Alice had always been my favorite person to talk about nothing with, so driving with her was fun.

"So do you think we'll be driving together for a while?" Alice asked, turning to me. Even with Edward and me, I knew she got lonely during the day without Jasper.

"I told Edward at least five days, but if you wanted, we could utilize that _at least_ a bit," I offered. I could make up with him in five days and drive with her for a while more afterward. I just loved seeing her happy.

"Okay!" she agreed, grinning. "I love you, Bella, you're a true sister. Thank you so much for staying with me through this. You must miss Edward a _lot_."

I smiled at her warmly and, to my horror, felt tears welling up in my overly sentimental eyes. I brushed them away and answered her.

"Surprisingly, not a ton," I said honestly.

"Are you mad at him?"

"Alice, I've been following you around like a service dog."

She laughed, making my heart automatically feel ten times lighter.

"We're here," she announced, and I looked up in surprise.

We were indeed in my driveway. I fumbled with the lock on the door, until Alice sighed with frustration and flipped the automatic switch on her door.

I rushed inside, scrambled up the stairs to my room, and snatched my purse and a heavier jacket. The weather report had gotten my hopes up.

I went back downstairs to find Alice in the kitchen, scribbling on the notepad by the phone. Just like Edward, she could impersonate my handwriting with amazing accuracy.

"Alright, done!" she announced, and tore the note off the pad, placing it on the table.

We left, making it to the Seattle area in about ten minutes. Alice immediately dragged me into the Bellevue Mall, a ridiculously big place with an airy, connected feeling, like you were in a single four-story room as long and wide as eight of the Cullen mansions.

It was a bit overwhelming.

First we went to a section that sold purses and shoes. Apparently I needed shoes and Alice needed purses. Alice pranced through the black shoes, looking at low-heeled ones conspicuously, (I'm sure just to gain my trust), and I dragged my feet after her.

"Bella," she said, turning to glare at me. "I thought you agreed to this? At least pretend you're having a good time!"

"Are _you_ having a good time?"

"Well, yes, of course! I'm doing my favorite thing in the world, with my best friend in the world!"

I smiled. "Aww."

She glared at me.

"Alright, Alice, that _was_ actually really sweet, and it motivated me to buckle down and do this. It could turn out to be fun," I offered, mostly to make her smile. I didn't think this would be fun at all.

I had no idea how right I was.

Alice purchased a pair of brown clogs and a pair of cute black flats for me and a pair of turquoise stiletto boots for herself. We were leaving when she yelped and told me to wait in the clothing center, then scurried back inside. She was out again shortly, holding at least eight more bags.

"Alice," I whined loudly, drawing her name out and turning several heads.

"Shh," she hissed, silencing me immediately. "Let me have my fun!" She paused, looking uncertain, and then turned back to me. She looked eager and anxious at the same time. "I'll show you when we get home." She winked slyly.

Uh oh.

Alice grabbed my hand abruptly and dragged me to the lingerie and nightwear section.

"Alice, no!" I exclaimed, frantically tugging back on her hand.

"Bella, _yes_," she countered, pulling me back so fiercely that I tripped over her little foot. She caught me, and when I was standing steadily before her she gripped my shoulders and stared hard into my eyes, "Bella," she began slowly, "I've seen your pajamas, your bras and your underwear."

I blushed furiously. Of course she had, what with all of our sleepovers, not to mention her help after the 'James incident.'

"I'd say," Alice continued, disregarding my embarrassment completely. "For your sake and my approval, plus," she paused, and her brow furrowed when she said his name, "_Edward_'s enjoyment, it's time for an upgrade."

My neck and cheeks grew even warmer when she raised her eyebrows at me, asking silently for my consent.

But the expression was enormously cocky and threatening, and I knew she wouldn't take no for an answer.

I sighed in defeat, she squealed in ecstasy, and we were off.

Alice selected multiple black, white, purple, brown, and white pairs of underwear, with just as many bras to match. She found a black silk tank-top and pajama shorts, and threw those over her arm absently, as we headed deeper into the maze of skimpy nightwear.

"Buy me something like that," I warned, making a face and pointing at a see-through silver babydoll nightgown, adorned with black lace and probably not long enough to cover my backside, "and you can be sure I'll _never_ wear it."

She giggled, and pranced off to inspect the robes. After about ten minutes of examination, she decided upon a black fleece robe with a sewed-on belt and dark gray hearts on the gigantic pockets. She was obviously happy with the selection of this robe, as she confidently informed me "it'll keep you warm and toasty around vampires." Seeing my frown, she hastily added, "until _you_ are one, of course."

I was also "given," Alice said, although I thought of it more as "forced to have," a sapphire blue nightgown that dangled to just above my knees, with black lace around the bottom edge and serving for the straps over my shoulders, plus a neckline that Alice assured me that Edward would die again for. The way she said that sort of scared me.

I was pretty pleased with everything she had bought me so far, for once not caring that she was spending an absurd amount of money on me. Today was for Alice.

Well, most of today.

After Alice had purchased everything, she led me to the escalators and we went to the bottom floor. I was amazed at how well she knew the place.

The bottom floor was mostly food. Mexican, Italian, Thai, Chinese, American, Mediterranean, Indian, vegetarian…absolutely every kind of food one could think up.

Alice turned to me, smiling at my awed expression, "So, what do you feel like, Bella?" she asked.

I knew I would be questioning Alice while we ate, so I decided to pick a crowded place where we could talk without being overheard. I scanned the giant "room," if you could call it that, and spotted a little Vegetarian place with a cheerful looking atmosphere, packed with booths.

"That one," I said, pointing to the large, flowery name above the entrance, "Veggies Unlimited."

"Cute," Alice said, but her face held no expression. I knew she had already seen me questioning her in the vegetarian restaurant. "Let's go."

We walked over, slower than average human pace, since I was laden with bags. Alice grew frustrated at one point and grabbed about three quarters of the them from me.

After ordering a "Veggie Salad" and chocolate milk, Alice led me over to a corner booth, which was conveniently snug between two larger booths hosting what looked like a birthday party in one and college grad celebration in the other. We slid to the wall, on opposite benches. I didn't understand why she didn't just start talking – she knew what I was going to ask.

But I gulped down some chocolate milk and asked anyway.

"Where has Edward been going?"

Alice stared at me with a bored look on her face. "Bella," she began. "I want you to remember that I can only tell you a fraction of what's going on. The rest, whether good or bad, I haven't seen yet, and will happen when it happens. I will be by your side no matter what. In the long run, though, there's only so much I can do. Only so much I can tell you. Snit-bits. Pinches. Slivers. Portions. Fractions."

I took it all in smoothly, with a practiced poker face on. I couldn't care how much she could tell me; I had to be understanding. "Okay," I said. "Where has Edward been going?"

Alice smiled slightly, I can only imagine because she'd seen several different ways I'd react to her little speech, and I responded in the way she wanted. Then she got down to business. "He's been going out."

I was silent for a while, and then I reacted, sarcasm dripping off my tongue. "Really, Alice? That's confusing. When he says goodbye and jumps out the window, how in the world could that be considered out?"

She sighed a little. "Alright," she complied. "He's been seeing a woman."

My eyes bulged and I could feel tears building up. That was no fraction; it was all I needed to know. All the other questions I had had flew out of my head like wildfire. She was telling the truth, I could see it in her face. A couple tears trickled down my cheeks. I couldn't stop looking at Alice.

Speaking of Alice, her face had gone at an alarming rate from resigned when she was telling me the news, to shock, guilt, anger, disappointment, and finally deciding on sadness.

"That came out wrong," she mumbled.

"No. No it didn't." I slid out of the booth, leaving my food untouched, and stood up. "Let's go. I feel like shopping." I was trying to sound careless, but I think I just sounded melancholy. Again.

This time is different, I reminded myself. I can still see Edward. And I have Alice. I'll live, I decided.

Alice slowly slid out of her side of the booth and stood next to me. She took one look at my face, where tears were still streaming, and pulled me into a tender hug. "You'll find out what I the whole truth soon. Very soon. Edward loves _you_, Bella." She pushed herself back to look me in the eye. "Honey, I'm sorry I said that. You're taking it the wrong way, but I don't see how anyone but Edward can explain the truth to you." She smiled sadly at me, and brushed my tears gently away.

I nodded weakly, but inside I was raging. As each of my tears was wiped away, so was my sadness replaced with fury. I hated him. I couldn't believe Alice when she said he loved me. He can't just come back, _claim_ he loves me, then go off and see another woman. No, apparently he can, and he did, and I hated him for it. He broke every single one of his promises. He doesn't love me. He was lying when he convinced me to believe he did the _second time_. I hated him.

Alice reached out for my hand, and I placed it in hers. She clutched it, and I felt slightly better. I did have Alice. Always.

I managed a wobbly smile, and she dragged me out of the place.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked me excitedly, almost completely back to her chipper self.

I thought quickly. "I want to get my nails done. And I'd like some new curtains for my bedroom. Some that _he_ can't see through."

She frowned at me. "We'll get the curtains first."

We walked to the nearby **Joann**'s. In the back were tons of curtain rods, and beside them, running across the whole store, were even more curtain fabrics. I chose a curtain rod with black metal spirals on each end, and a dark sapphire blue, velvety fabric that I knew would make _him_ crazy.

I could tell Alice wasn't particularly happy with my choice, but she held her tongue. Finished with that, we marched right back to the enormous mall and found the least busy nail place with minor difficulty. Alice got her toenails painted a vibrant red and her fingernails a lovely turquoise. Surprisingly, they went together really well. I had my toenails and fingernails both painted a deep midnight blue, quite similar to my new curtains' color.

Whenever guilt reigned its ugly head I would actually pinch myself on the arm and tell myself fiercely that _he _deserved it.

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Once Alice and I had stuffed every last one of our purchases into the backseat and trunk of Esme's van, we were headed back. We were going to drop off Alice's bags at her house – and I think she was hoping_ he_ and I would make up – and then she was going to bring me home.

We pulled up to her house in no time, and Alice persuaded me to "just come say hi to Esme and Emmett, at the very least. Those two have been missing you the most." She told me Edward had been staying in the castle out back, so I wouldn't have to see him, either. But I could tell there was something she was keeping from me.

I walked behind Alice. She dropped her bags just inside the door. Emmett came barreling up to me, and before I knew it, I had no breath.

"Emmett...need...air..." He laughed boisterously and put me lightly back on my feet.

"So how you been, squirt?" he asked, ruffling my hair. I pushed his hand away playfully and couldn't help a smile from spreading across my cheeks.

"Okay, I guess," I responded, shrugging, feigning indifference.

Emmett gave me a look, but Esme saved the day by choosing that moment to run up to me and ask how I had been doing. She pulled me into a warm hug. I hugged back, but leaned away quickly when I realized that the motherly gesture was so comforting it was bringing tears to my eyes. Then I saw _him_ over Emmett's shoulder. Alice said _he_ wouldn't be here! I brushed any evidence of tears away and answered Esme.

"School's good," I said. "Easy senior stuff. Next week is final prep. week, so that should go well. I think I'm already prepared, so..." I was rambling in order to keep my eyes away from _him_, but stopped when I noticed Jasper and Carlisle come out of the kitchen, in deep conversation.

My eyes flitted to _him_ and then back to Alice, who was showing Rosalie what she had bought.

"I – I should p-probably go." I stuttered nervously, beckoning furiously at Alice behind my back. "It was nice seeing you all."

I turned around and opened the door. "Come on, Alice," I said, not bothering to face the house again. The cool night air soothed my stinging eyes. I heard soft footsteps behind me, so I hissed, "_Finally_. It's not like you don't have eternity to show Rosalie your clothes and accessories," and marched out the door and down the stairs, keeping my back to her.

"Bella."

I froze. That wasn't Alice. Why wasn't Alice behind me?

"We need to talk."

I spun around swiftly, surprising both of us when I kept my balance. I didn't look in his eyes, instead I focused on the top button of his shirt.

"No. No we don't."

He sighed, and I mentally cursed Alice. It was so difficult to not start crying or hit him or scream at him or just collapse from pain and betrayal. I thought I might faint from holding it all in, but I didn't dare, knowing that he would catch me in those arms I loved so much, and I would no longer be able to restrain all of my wild emotions.

"Well, could we?"

His voice was soft, and there wasn't much hope in it, but it was as beautiful as ever.

"I thought you were okay with this," I muttered. "You said in that note that you knew you deserved this. So I don't understand. Are you trying to make me forgive you?" I thought of all the things he wanted to be forgiven for, even though he didn't know that I knew about all of them. It was too much. I was done with him. "What am _I _even doing talking to you?" I asked myself aloud. "I shouldn't be. I can't. Pretend I never said a thing." I risked glancing briefly into his eyes. "Goodnight, Edward." His name burned my throat.

I turned around and walked back to the car. I was ten feet away. If only my stupid feet moved a tiny bit faster – but I didn't even hear him behind me this time, so there was no way I would've known to push myself.

In any case, the next thing I knew my back was pressed up against the car and his hands were holding my waist firmly. His stomach was pushed against my rib cage, and his face was inches above my own, looking down at me. My breath caught in my throat when I looked up at him slowly; there was nothing but fiery lust in his tawny eyes.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, and his normally smooth voice was rough and husky. "I do _deserve _this, but Bella," he moved his face closer to my upturned one, and his breath hit me like a greedy rip tide, pulling me in and under. "I'm tired of trying to stay away from you."

His lips hit mine like a softly landing missile, and I gasped when his hands moved to my thighs.

I did love his mouth on mine, and his body on mine felt delicious, but I couldn't do this. Not after I found out he had ensnared me in his trap of fake love, only to cheat on me. He wasn't as perfect as I once thought he was.

I didn't respond to his lips on mine, instead I slid down the car and ducked stealthily under his legs, shocking myself once more with my sudden grace. He fell forward, catching himself on the van at the last second.

I smirked at his back. He turned around, and his expression was a bizarre mix of surprise, hurt, and sadness. Then it all vanished, leaving his face blank and empty.

"Goodnight, Bella," he said, his voice absolutely colorless. Guilt flickered through me, and I pushed it hastily away again.

He turned and loped fluidly back to the house, leaving me standing there. Alone, in the dark, slowly being coated with the soft drizzle.

A couple moments later I came back to myself. I rushed to the car and crawled in.

And fell to pieces.

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_AN:_

"_The name"Veggies Unlimited" was thought up by me, the TOTALLY AWESOME Mina," types my crazy little sister. _

_So what did you think?! Tell me!!_

_Oh and by the way, I do live in Washington, just north of Seattle in fact, but I haven't been to the Bellevue Mall in YEARS, and kind of made some stuff up. Although from what I remember, it IS like one gigantic room, though._

_And you may have noticed that after Bella and Alice's talk in the restaurant, Edward began being referred to as "he," italicized. That wasn't meant to be read with emphasis, I just did that so you would know who I was talking about._

_And just to clear things up, Alice hid her mind from Edward about the whole "telling Bella" thing, so he does NOT know she knows. But Alice was right, Bella's taking it all wrong. And I can only imagine you did too. lol. I am sorry for all of this. I hate making Edward seem like a bad guy. _

_At the end, I thought of that TOTALLY AWESOME – Mina's favorite phrase is apparently rubbing off on me – song by Avril, Fall To Pieces. I know it's an oldie song, well, considerably, but I LOVE it!! eh, eh??_

_Review!!_


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